I felt the breeze coming off of a size 3 shoe as it flew by my head. Again.
This was the third time that Ryan had become overpowered by the urge to launch a Croc grenade across the classroom to land in his brother’s lap. And after two attempts at correcting and redirecting this behavior, it was time for us to have a chat about it. We moved over to the side of the classroom and sat down across from one another. His head went down right away, but I wasn’t there to scold him. We talked for a little while about why it wasn’t safe to send our shoes sailing into a sea of our friend’s heads, but then I asked him why he was having such a hard time obeying his teachers when we asked him to stop. Exasperated, he looked up with teary eyes and said, “I don’t know why I can’t listen, it’s just so hard to keep the rules.”
The Similar Beat of Human Hearts
As he said it, I could feel my heart nodding in agreement. I realized that this conversation Ryan and I were having about his sin is the same one I have with God about my own sin all the time. And as Ryan sat there frustrated at how hard it is to keep his shoes on his feet, I could see the battle that wages in my own heart happening in his. It’s hard to choose to honor God when our rebellious hearts want to run the other direction.
In a sweet moment, Ryan and I got to pray together that God would help him say no to his sin and obey his teachers. We got to thank Jesus for living the perfect life so that when we mess up, God forgives us and doesn’t stay mad at us. Visibly relieved and with tears dried, Ryan scurried back over to join the class. We listened to the remainder of our lesson and, by God’s grace, all footwear stayed in its rightful place.
Depending on God Like a Child
Even hours after the service concluded, I continued to think back on our conversation and prayer time. Bad theology tries to teach us that God is only interested in our perfect discipline. We either become self-righteous in our ability to follow the rules externally, or devastated and despondent when we see our failure over-and-over again. It has taken me years to realize that in moments of weakness, my first move should be to ask for God’s help. I am created for a relationship with God that requires me to lean hard on his Spirit working inside me rather than white-knuckled attempts to clean up my own heart. God knows that we aren’t going to live perfectly, that’s why he wants our dependence. In the moments that I come to him as a child, vulnerable and helpless, he is always faithful to listen, forgive, restore, and lead me forward. It’s an exchange that doesn’t make sense in this world—my sin for the righteousness of Jesus—but Ryan and I are both learning that obedience grows from a heart that’s captured by this mystery of grace.
Our hope in Mercy Hill Kids is to help children learn dependence on God from the start. As we help them create these healthy rhythms in their walk with Jesus, it provides a consistent reminder of how I should approach the Lord in hard moments. Being a part of Kids Ministry teaches each of us so much about discipline, discipleship, and dependence. Each week it is a privilege to speak the gospel into the lives of these kids while the Lord uses them to speak into mine as well.
– Kids Staff Member
 Name changed for safety of the child and sake of the parents.